Children grieve in different ways depending on their age and experiences. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and it may look different from how adults express grief.
How children understand death by age
Infants
Experience death as absence.
Ages 3 to 5
See death as temporary; may blame themselves.
Ages 5 to 9
Begin to understand death is final; may feel overwhelmed.
Age 9+
Understand death more like adults; may show deeper emotional responses.
What to expect
- Children may move in and out of grief quickly.
- They often express feelings through behaviour, not words.
- They may fear something bad will happen to others they love.
- School, attention, and behaviour may be affected.
How to help
- Let them grieve in their own way and time.
- Keep routines as stable as possible.
- Offer extra love, support, and structure.
- Talk openly and honestly about what’s happened.
- Stay in touch with their school and other caregivers.
- Be a role model—children learn how to cope by watching adults.
- Look after your own wellbeing too—get support if you need it.