Children learn how to cope with grief from the adults around them. Here are some ways to support them
Listen and be present
- Let the child lead the conversation. If they want to talk, make time to listen.
- If you can’t talk right away, agree on a time to come back to it.
Answer questions honestly
- Children may ask difficult or unexpected questions. It’s okay to say “I don’t know.”
- Use clear words like “dead” or “died” instead of “gone away” or “asleep.”
Watch for behaviour changes
- Children may act out, withdraw, or seem anxious or angry. These are normal reactions. Stay calm and patient.
Help them express feelings
- Encourage them to talk, draw, or write about how they feel.
- Let them know it’s okay to cry and to laugh.
Acknowledge their feelings
- Take what they say seriously, even if it seems irrational.
- Avoid saying things like “You’ll feel better soon” or “You don’t mean that.”
Be aware of special days
- Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can bring up strong emotions.
- Follow the child’s lead on how to mark these days.
Make death part of normal conversation
- Don’t avoid the topic. Talking openly helps children understand and cope.
- Be clear and honest about what happened.